control and the lack thereof

After an extraordinarily long suspension of reading the bible outside of what is required of me to, i’m starting again. I think busyness of our little club and of my uni work made me believe that what little portion I had left from my time pie wasn’t meant to be used for anything else but on myself. Unknown to me, my lack of reading the bible more was bringing me further and further away from God. But, today, I try again.

I’ve decided Habakkuk (it’s only three chapters!). I want to bite into it slowly and try to absorb every little detail, instead of my usual mass reading where the tiny snippets get lost. From what I’ve read, one of the main themes of this book is of hope, it is of trusting in God and though everything seems to be so crappy, its about knowing that God really does know what he is doing.

I guess, almost everybody knows that I had the worse few weeks of the semester run by me recently (because i complain and i complain and i complain and then i whine till my mouth gets dry) and that this was only the beginning, the worse is apparently looming right ahead. After reading a wee bit of Habakkuk, I’m still quite certain, it’s going to be another two more yucky weeks ahead of me, I doubt the workload will magically vanish. But as I go through a period of assignments, presentations, and case studies and then right into exams, I want to learn about hope and about God being in control.

for mum.

made two bunches of hot cross buns this easter using two different recipes, nigella lawson’s and mummy’s. mummy’s turned out really well, nigella’s not so much. i promised mummy i’d post up some pictures of the buns (her recipe), so here they are!

i was too lazy to follow mummy’s cross recipe so i made a variation of nigella’s and piped it out. needless to say, it was too liquidy. doesn’t matter, i always peel the crosses out before i eat them anyway.

heehee, ate too much food so must hide faces.

dadoo

good morning essentials

a good morning recipe

• two warm blankets
• a heater
• a good cup of tea
• a strong ray of sunshine

a few leaps back.

my nai nai
everyday after school gilly would get dropped off at her nai nai’s house whether she liked it or not. sometimes she would skip up the slope into nai nai’s warm welcoming arms but sometimes she would have to be yanked out the car, up the hill and onto the veranda. regardless, nai nai would be waiting to greet gilly with a kiss, a big bear hug and a hot lunch. after guzzling down the hot lunch, grandma and grandchild would have their forty winks and not a minute more. nai nai would always wake first because gilly would never get up without force. nai nai would always have to pull gilly’s toes and entice her with a cup of milo and a piece of toast to wake her grandchild from her slumber . “Wake up! the lizards are going to eat your tea!“

nai nai and gilly would spend the afternoon sitting in the kitchen having tea and talking about the things they did, what nai nai read in the newspaper and every once in a while gossip about the people they know. occasionally gilly would take a sheet of paper from nai nai’s scrap paper pile and attempt to draw. then gilly would present her art to nai nai who would always proudly display it on the fridge or microwave oven. when conversation between them stopped gilly would lay her heavy head on her grandma’s lap and let nai nai stroke her curls. when the evening arrived bringing her mummy and daddy with it, gilly would go back home and get ready for the next day of school and nai nai.

gilly likes tea time. gilly likes afternoon naps and hot lunches. but most of all gilly loves her nai nai.

i carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings