break my candy heart.
8 March 2008
cry me a damn river.
i ought to be shot in the head, rolled down to the bank and made to rest with the fishes.
the first week of uni is over. i have a wonderful four day weekend. 
we commerce students pride ourselves on the very few contact hours. i’ve spent most of my week sipping coffee, chasing driers (that comes hand in hand with semi-communal living), chowing down pastries, making small talk in the communal kitchen ‘can i borrow your oil? mine’s extra virgin and you know how we shouldn’t use that for cooking right?’, sleeping on airbeds and futons in very hospitable people’s houses and trying to catch up with all the sydney-siders.
in my old suburb, the very bright one with the lights we have a town hobo. in the day i have seen him leaning on the lamppost, sleeping between two slabs of cardboard or hunched over an old vittora coffee cup in various parts of the suburb. he is starting to bald from the top of his head, but his unshaven beard makes me forget he is loosing hair. his clothes are dark with dirt, in shreds and don’t provide much insulation for the later months. at night i’ve once heard him yelling but most nights he silently sits by his tattered cup on his cardboard mattress. i m not one for talking to slightly intimadating people, but like to imagine what our conversation would be like.
i would start off with the mandatory ‘how are you?’ and a neutral comment about the weather. would he be perturbed by my social mandatories? maybe he would brush me off and tell me to go back to wherever in china i’ve come from. but i like to think he would smile and tell me all that he has seen on the street. jumping from one experience to another. maybe he’ll talk about all the people who have been kind to him or maybe even about how he became a Cristian. i know experience tells me the likelihood of that happening is slim, but the hope of having a wonderfully decent conversation with the town hobo negates all negative past experiences.
i don’t think i’ll ever talk to him, but a girl should be allowed to wonder.
